Kairos Time

I'm in the habit of watching each day for its best moment. Some days it can be a real challenge to find anything at all, but I make myself find something. On a difficult day I might look up and notice the blue of the sky, or an interesting reflection in a puddle and think, well, I best remember because this just might be it for today.

But most days, the moment just jumps out at me. Tonight, I was hanging out on the sofa, talking with Ron when Kayla walked up with a look on her face I haven't seen in awhile...the "I'd really like to get on the sofa with you" look. So I reached down and hoisted her up, a bit of a challenge as she is still heavy, even in her thin elder dog state. I got all of her settled on top of me and gently stroked her soft side, and she finally relaxed and fell asleep, her head on my chest, her body stretched out along mine. Little soft snores, the feel of her silky fur under my hand, so lovely. Kayla used to snuggle with me all the time, especially happy any time I'd curl up on the sofa and call her to join me in her favorite spot, her head on my thigh and her body nestled in the crook of my legs, the two of us ready for a nap. But as she's gotten older, and less agile, the cuddling is very rare. Tonight felt like a chance to go back in time, to live one of those many moments over again, but this time, fully aware of the preciousness of it. Definitely a best moment.

Yesterday, at the end of the day, looking back, I realized that my best moment was sitting with Therese on her front steps, after our walk, reciting my broccoli cheese soup recipe to her while she wrote it down on a little pad of paper, with plans to make it for her family for dinner. Such a simple little thing, but layered, and delightful.

I've found that these favorite moments are very rarely anything big. They aren't a terrific booking at the agency, they aren't a raise or a big night out. They are over and over again some little thing, something that you could have just as easily not noticed. They are most often during a walk outside, from a found conversation with Chloe just before bed, or maybe a pause over a beautiful line in something I'm reading.

A facebook friend shared this essay, which describes all of this better than I ever could. The author talks about Kairos time, which is when time stops for a second, when you suddenly SEE...see the world, see the specialness, feel that something sacred is going on.

I live for those Kairos moments. They are what make us all say that parenting is the hardest job we've ever done, and yet the absolute best one too. They are what make this life, with all of it's hamster-on-a-wheel craziness and hardship and heartbreak, worth it.

And, ah, to recognize them while they are happening, that is when we are most truly blessed.