On Reentry

Reentry is difficult.

Getting away briefly from my real life was beyond wonderful. Time to walk and shop and think and relax. Time to sleep in, to eat shrimp tacos on a sunny patio, to drink iced tea by the pool and take pictures of whatever grabbed my eye. Time to wander alone, to try on whisper soft clothing, to walk the two and half miles back to the hotel after shopping just because I felt like it and the sun was shining, popping in anywhere that beckoned along the way. Time for so many good things.

And then, too soon, whoosh, we're home again. To laundry overflowing, to Kayla even skinnier and having accidents on the carpet because her kidneys just aren't working right anymore, to skirmishes over having to take a bath and untangle hair, to rushing dinner on the table so I can fit in a walk, to my never ending list of to dos.

I stand in front of my mirror, getting ready for bed, and think, breathe, girl. You gotta gear up to get back on the treadmill, to begin again. You gotta psych yourself up to tackle the office, gird yourself for the politics, make lunches, plan dinners, motivate an unwilling fifth grader to start her science fair project, and, above all, act like you like it.

Sometimes, this wife and mama and business owner thing, I just don't want to.

But I do it anyway. All of us do. We get up in the morning, we shower and put on our brave faces, take a few deep breaths and dive in. Because that's what it takes, that's what love is, that's what life is--showing up, especially when you don't feel like it.

And then, once you are there, sometimes, in spite of yourself, the joy catches you. And whoosh, there you are, back in your life, smiling. And it's not in spite of it all, after all; it's because of it.

NowThisLife.com - Los Angeles Arboretum
Los Angeles Arboretum

1 comment:

  1. So true. It's times like that that my barely-contained inner two-year-old is on melt-down mode. Once I'm back though--for better or worse--it's like I never left.

    Hope that joy catches you sooner than later tomorrow! :)


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